Burn the Boats: How to Go All In on the Bold Choice You Keep Avoiding
13 years · 40+ retreats · 700+ women
A few years ago, in the closing circle of one of my retreats, I swore in the middle of a sacred ceremony.
We were doing our final release — naming what we wanted to let go of, and calling in what we wanted more of. I released the habit of holding myself back and the fear of being seen. And for my call-in, I named it with a word I won’t print here, in front of a circle of women, with every cell in my body: burn the boats.
We all laughed. But it landed — for me, and for every woman in that circle. Because in that moment I wasn’t just saying words. I was so done with my own wavering, so done letting other people’s expectations run my decisions, that I chose, out loud, to become a version of myself who doesn’t hedge. And the women who were there still bring it up to this day.
That’s what this post is about: the bold choice you keep circling but haven’t made — and why going all in on it might change everything.
What does it mean to “burn the boats”?
To burn the boats means to commit so fully to moving forward that you remove the option of retreat. The phrase comes from the idea of a crew landing on a shore and burning their own ships — no easy way back, no room for excuses, only forward. Applied to your life, it’s the opposite of keeping one foot out the door: it’s deciding, all the way, and letting that decision reorganize everything else.
Going all in doesn’t have to mean something dramatic or reckless. It might be pursuing a passion you’ve sidelined, changing your surroundings, or finally saying yes to the thing that scares you a little. The point is that you stop living the half-version of your life that was shaped by other people’s expectations and old stories, and start building one that’s actually yours.
Why do bold choices actually change your life?
Because a full commitment doesn’t just move you toward a goal — it changes how you see yourself. When you commit all the way to something that matters, you’re telling yourself I’m worthy of this, and that message reshapes your focus, your resilience, and your self-worth.
There’s research behind this. Psychologist Angela Duckworth’s work on grit — which she defines as passion and perseverance for long-term goals — found that sticking with a purpose over time predicts achievement, sometimes better than raw talent does. Commitment is what lets you stay the course when it gets hard. And every time you follow through on something hard, you build the kind of inner strength that makes the next hard thing more possible.
There’s also a self-worth loop here that’s worth naming: living in line with your own values is consistently linked to a stronger sense of self. When you make a decision and stick with it because it’s true to you — not because it’s easy — the commitment itself becomes a kind of self-respect. You start seeing yourself as someone capable of living her real life.
Why is it so scary — and what if the fear is the point?
Fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of being seen, the worry that you’re “not enough” — bold choices tend to bring all of it up. But here’s the reframe: fear is often a sign you’re at the edge of growth, not a sign to turn back.
Growth is uncomfortable by design. It’s learning, adapting, retrying, starting over, asking for help. It doesn’t feel good in the moment — and that discomfort is exactly what stretches you. Your brain is built to change with practice (that’s neuroplasticity), and the reps that build resilience are, almost by definition, the uncomfortable ones. If you’ve been working on the old stories underneath the fear, Episode 2 on releasing limiting beliefs is the companion to this one.
So the next time fear shows up around a big choice, try not avoiding it. A simple grounding practice — a few slow breaths, coming back to the present — can loosen fear’s grip enough for you to ask it a question: What are you pointing me toward? Sometimes the fear is just guarding the door to the exact thing you’re meant to walk through.
A short practice: rehearse your bold choice
Mental rehearsal is one of the most useful tools for this, and it’s not woo — visualization is well studied and widely used by elite athletes and performers to prepare for high-stakes moments. Picturing yourself succeeding can measurably improve performance and increase your readiness to actually act. Try this:
If you’re somewhere safe, close your eyes and notice your breath — no need to change it, just witness it. (Learning to witness the breath is how we practice witnessing our thoughts.) Take one slow, full breath in, and let it out with an audible exhale.
Now bring to mind a bold choice you’ve been drawn to but haven’t committed to. See yourself fully embracing it. Imagine the confidence, the freedom, the relief of finally going all in. Watch yourself take each step, and notice how it feels in your body. Sit in that knowing for a moment — let it fill you — and when you’re ready, open your eyes.
That wasn’t nothing. You just gave your brain a rehearsal of the version of you who says yes.
How do you make a bold choice without blowing up your life?
Break it down. Going all in doesn’t mean quitting everything on Monday — it means taking one small, tangible step toward the choice this week. Say no to one thing that’s out of alignment. Reach out to a friend who’ll support the move. Write the goal down. Bold choices get far less terrifying when you shrink the first step instead of the dream.
So here’s my challenge: pick the one choice you’ve been circling, and take a single step toward it this week. Not the whole leap — just the first, honest step. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to stop hedging.
Ready to map it out? I made a free Bold Action Worksheet to help you clarify the goal, name the fear that’s in the way, and outline your next steps. Grab it here.
About the author
Autumn Adams (E-RYT 500, YACEP) is the founder of Ambuja Yoga and host of The Aligned Yogi Podcast. She’s led women’s yoga retreats since 2014 — 40+ retreats and 700+ women — and teaches a science-backed approach to mindset and the nervous system. She’s the author of The Little Book of Mudra Meditations and is mom to Atlas. Learn more about Autumn →
Frequently Asked Questions
What does it mean to “burn the boats”? Burning the boats means committing so fully to moving forward that you remove the option of retreat. It comes from the image of a crew burning their own ships after landing — no way back, no excuses, only forward. Applied to life, it means making a decision all the way instead of keeping one foot out the door.
Why do bold choices change your life? A full commitment doesn’t just move you toward a goal — it reshapes your focus, resilience, and self-worth. Research on grit shows that perseverance toward a long-term purpose predicts achievement, and following through on hard things you value builds a stronger, more capable sense of self over time.
Is it normal to feel afraid before making a big decision? Yes. Fear of failure, judgment, or not being enough almost always comes up around bold choices. Rather than a stop sign, that fear is often a sign you’re at the edge of real growth — and learning to sit with it, instead of avoiding it, is part of how you move forward.
How do you make a bold decision without blowing up your life? Break it down and take one small step this week rather than the whole leap. Say no to one misaligned thing, reach out to someone who’ll support you, or write the goal down. Shrinking the first step — not the dream — makes bold choices far less overwhelming.
What is grit, and does it really predict success? Grit, a term from psychologist Angela Duckworth, is passion and perseverance for long-term goals. Her research found that grit predicts achievement across settings, sometimes beyond talent alone — the key being sustained commitment through difficulty, not a single burst of motivation.
Does visualization actually work? Mental rehearsal is well studied and widely used by elite athletes and performers. Vividly picturing yourself succeeding can strengthen your belief and increase your readiness to act, which is why it’s a useful step before a big decision — though it works best paired with real action.
How do you know if a choice is truly aligned or just impulsive? An aligned bold choice connects to your actual values and the life you want, even when it’s scary; an impulsive one is usually about escaping a feeling in the moment. A simple test is to sit with the choice quietly and notice whether it still feels true once the initial rush fades.
This is also exactly the kind of work I love watching women do on retreat — if you want to do it in person, in nature, with a circle of women doing the same, come join us on a retreat. And for one small practice in your inbox each week, there’s Mindful Monday.
The Research
Cohen, G. L., & Sherman, D. K. (2014). The psychology of change: Self-affirmation and social psychological intervention. Annual Review of Psychology, 65, 333–371. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115137 — the authoritative synthesis showing that affirming core personal values supports self-integrity (“a global sense of personal adequacy”)
Driskell, J. E., Copper, C., & Moran, A. (1994). Does mental practice enhance performance? Journal of Applied Psychology, 79(4), 481–492. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-9010.79.4.481 — a meta-analysis finding mental practice has a positive, significant effect on performance.
Duckworth, A. L., Peterson, C., Matthews, M. D., & Kelly, D. R. (2007). Grit: Perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(6), 1087–1101. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.92.6.1087
Welcome to the Align Yoga Podcast, where the ancient teachings of yoga meet the
modern principles of mindset, manifestation, and business growth. I’m your host,
Autumn Adams, yoga teacher, retreat leader, and business mentor, with over a decade
of experience leading retreats and helping yogis transform their lives. Each episode
brings you powerful insights, practical tools, and stories from industry experts to help
you create a thriving heart-centered life alongside a yoga career that feels authentic and
deeply aligned with your purpose.
Hello, yogis and friends. Welcome back to the podcast. Today, we’re diving into
something that can completely transform your life, going all in.
I’m talking about bold choices, the kind that change the trajectory of who you are and
who you become. I know that if you’re tuning in, something in you is already calling for a
change, and today, we’re going to explore how you can answer that call. So, let’s talk
about why bold choices are the fast track to inner alignment and authenticity and why
they’re worth making.
When we choose boldly, we give ourselves permission to align with our true desires,
values, and our potential. Too often, we build lives that reflect only part of what we want,
influenced by others’ expectations, outdated stories and beliefs, and our own comfort
zones, but bold choices dissolve these layers, revealing who we really are. Imagine living
a life where you don’t have to wear a mask, where every choice feels true to you.
Maybe that’s pursuing a new passion, changing your surroundings, or taking on
something that scares you a little. By going all in, you are creating a life that is truly,
fully yours, and it is your birthright. I want to share a story from one of my own retreats,
and it was a memorable moment that retreat attendees still talk about to this day.
It’s what I call my burning the boats moment. Have you heard the expression burn the
boats? When you burn the boats, there’s no turning back, no easy way out. There isn’t
any room for excuses either
There’s no option to go back, so you’ve got to go all in on going forward. During our
retreats, we often have a final ceremony to release what holds us back from living our
best, most aligned lives, and during that ceremony, I released playing small and the fear
of being seen. For my call-in, I called in to burn the fucking boats, and I declared it with
every fiber of my being.
It was so powerful. We all had a little laugh because I was swearing during a yoga retreat
and in a ceremony, no less, but my release and call-in struck a chord with every single
woman in that circle. It reminded them that we all have our struggles, and my struggles
are similar to theirs, but even more importantly, I was able to model what stepping fully
into your power looks like on a visceral and energetic level.
Literally, in that moment, I was sick of my own shit. I was sick of wavering, and I was sick
of allowing the expectations from others to guide my decisions. At that moment, I wasn’t
just making a choice.
I was stepping into a new version of myself, a version that felt unstoppable. I am
fortunate now because I get to see students and clients make bold moves like this all the
time, quitting jobs that are out of alignment, buying their dream property, opening the
boutique or the yoga studio they never thought they’d be able to, embracing new
beginnings, or committing to a more intentional lifestyle, and I know firsthand that these
choices are scary, but the payoff, it’s immeasurable. So you might be wondering, why
does this next level commitment matter so much? Why go all in on something that feels
so big that it feels as if your stomach is going to jump up into your throat? It’s more than
just doing the big scary thing.
It’s about seeing what’s possible for you. It’s about living larger and more confidently. It’s
about knowing your worth, your resilience, your capability.
Studies have shown that making a strong commitment doesn’t just align us with our
values. It has the power to transform our focus, our perseverance, and our self-esteem.
So let’s take, for example, the research on grit by psychologist Angela Duckworth.
She describes grit as passion and perseverance for long-term goals, and her studies
reveal that committing fully to a purpose helps us stay the course, even when things get
tough. It’s that remembering our why. It’s not just about following through.
It’s about building resilience. Every time we commit deeply, we develop this kind of inner
strength that allows us to push forward and stay focused on what matters most. When
we make a bold commitment, we’re also telling ourselves, I am worthy of living my truth,
and that message is incredibly powerful.
Research using the Rosenberg self-esteem scale shows that people who commit to their
values and goals experience a boost in self-worth. They start seeing themselves as
capable and valuable, seeing their own identity in a new and empowered light. Now
imagine making a decision and sticking with it, not because it’s easy, but because it
aligns with who you truly are, because it gets your gifts out into the world who need
them most.
This kind of commitment becomes an act of self-love. It’s like telling yourself, I deserve a
life that reflects my deepest values. I deserve a life that is happy and true and aligned
and abundant.
Now I know commitment can bring up a lot of fears, fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear
of being seen, or maybe the worry that we’re just not enough. But here’s where growth
mindset comes in. You can listen to episode two if you need help overcoming limiting
beliefs.
I want to share again Dr. Carol Dweck’s research because it shows us that a growth
mindset thrives on challenge. When we commit fully, we’re saying, I’m here to learn, to
grow, to push my own limits. We move past the fear of failure, viewing it instead as a
stepping stone to becoming stronger, more resilient, and more connected to our
purpose.
I want you to take a moment to bring into your mind’s eye something you’ve been
hesitant to commit to. What if going all in on that goal isn’t just about achieving
something, it’s about honoring yourself. It’s a reminder that you are worthy of living in
alignment with your values, with the confidence and focus to keep going.
No matter what, this kind of commitment has the power to change how you see yourself,
how you face challenges, and how fully you show up in every part of your life. If fear is
blocking you, remember that fear can be a sign of growth. Growth isn’t comfortable.
Growth is constantly learning, adapting, retrying, evolving, starting over, asking for help.
It’s not easy. But research tells us that when we face discomfort, it actually rewires our
brain to build resilience.
So the next time fear shows up, what if instead of avoiding it, you leaned into it? What if
that fear is pointing to something worth pursuing? One practice I love for facing fear is
mindfulness. It’s easy to overcomplicate things, but simple grounding exercises like
mindfulness or deep breathing can bring us back to the present. And when we’re
present, that fear can loosen its grip as we sit with it.
And that fear can transform from a barrier into a signal to keep moving forward. The
next time fear shows up for you, try grounding yourself with deep breaths. Notice if that
fear has something to tell you.
It might just be pointing you toward a choice that’s waiting to take you to the next level.
I would be doing you a great disservice if I didn’t share a practice with you right now. So
let’s slow down together for a moment.
If you’re in a safe place, go ahead and close down your eyes. Begin to notice your
breath. No need to change it.
Let’s all just take a moment to witness the breath. We can practice witnessing the breath
so that we learn how to also witness our thoughts.
There’s no judgment.
There’s no expectation. Just allow the breath to flow.
Now I invite you to take a deep,
steady breath in, letting it fill you up completely and gently release.
Take another deep breath in, feeling the air expand within you. And as you exhale, you
might even allow an audible exhale to flow from your mouth as you feel a sense of calm
wash over your body, settling you into this moment. Begin to shift your awareness to
your third eye center.
This is a space right between your eyebrows, and it is your center of seeing inner and
outer seeing. It’s your sixth chakra, otherwise known as Ajna. In this space, picture a
bold choice you’ve been drawn to, but haven’t yet committed to.
See yourself fully embracing this decision. Imagine the confidence, the freedom, the
relief of finally going all in on this choice. Visualize each step and feel yourself moving
closer to it with ease.
Notice how it feels. Notice how you feel. Sit in that knowing, allowing that knowing to fill
every cell of your being.
And when you are complete, you can open your eyes and rejoin us. There has been
research done on confidence, and it shows us that visualization practices like this one
that I just shared, not only strengthen our beliefs, but also increase our readiness to act.
By participating in that visualization, you’ve just taken a powerful step towards making
that vision real.
Top tier athletes, Olympic athletes, and some of the most powerful entrepreneurs use
this same technique to achieve their goals and create new neural pathways that bring
these goals to fruition. Bold choices become easier when we break them down. This
week, I encourage you to take one small tangible action towards your goal.
Maybe say no to something misaligned or reach out to a friend who can support your
journey. And for those ready to map out this commitment, I have a downloadable
worksheet for you linked in the show notes. You can also find it linked at
autumnadamsyoga.com slash bold hyphen action, or at ambujayoga.com slash bold
hyphen action.
The worksheet is designed to help you clarify your goals, address your fears, and outline
actionable steps. I encourage you to share the bold action. Write it down.
Not only do you deserve it, it’s your birthright, and the universe wants you to say yes to
living boldly and being all in on your dream. I know this isn’t easy work, but remember,
bold choices are what create the life we truly want. So I challenge each of you to take
one step toward your bold choice this week, and I’d love for you to share it.
Use the hashtags alignedyogibold and ambujayoga and let’s inspire one another. There’s
so much strength in community, and we are all in this together. If you want to dive
deeper into this, deeper into taking bold inspired action, don’t forget to download the
worksheet I mentioned, but you can also join us on retreat.
I offer multiple retreats a year, and this is the type of work and action I love seeing the
women who come on my retreats take. If you are on Instagram, follow me at
ambujayoga and keep an eye out for an Instagram live that’s coming soon where I’ll be
sharing more on making bold choices. Thank you again for being here, for showing up,
and for daring to go all in.
I’ll see you in the next episode. Bye for now.
About the Author
Autumn Adams
E-RYT, YACEP, Founder of Ambuja Yoga
Autumn Adams (E-RYT 500, YACEP) is the founder of Ambuja Yoga, where she's led women's yoga retreats since 2014 — 40+ retreats and 700+ women across Oregon, North Carolina, Sedona, Patagonia, Greece, Mallorca, and Thailand. Her work has been featured in Insider, Shape, Zappos, Asia Spa, Direct Holiday, and Bend Nest, and she's the author of The Little Book of Mudra Meditations. Learn more about Autumn →
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